Tuesday, February 26, 2013

December Is White History Month

by Edward Waverley

Here in the remnants of what was America, some happy few of us today are looking forward to Christmas as the birthday of our Lord and Savior. By a rather sly piece of public relations, the fourth-century Western church fathers designated December 25, near the Roman winter solstice, as the date of the Incarnation, in hopes of wresting the affections of pagans away from Saturn and toward the Christ. Well if the energies of a one-day pagan orgy can be usefully channeled into a celebration of Christ’s birth, why can’t we, by a parallel strategy, divert attention away from African Month (or Hispanic Month, or Moslem Month) and direct it toward a European Month? My proposal is that we take a page from those old church fathers and denominate the whole month of December as White History Month.

And just as the European church found a way to confront rampant paganism in the fourth century, the 21st-century church in America faces a dire threat in the form of other tempting gods from Africa, Mexico, and parts elsewhere. So by an extension of the old Christmas strategy, all this month, we will be taking time to commemorate the heroic deeds of White people everywhere.
I realize that you are probably already killing yourself to get ready for Black History Month (formerly known as February). But remember, you still have two whole months left to get ready for Negro Worship Month, so even liberals are without any excuse to ignore White History Month. Or perhaps, over the last few weeks, you were too busy participating in the Reconquista of the USA while honoring Hispanic Heritage month, and so you find that you simply lack the requisite energy or mental power to spend an additional month studying White achievements. Never fear my post-racial friend. I have taken it upon myself to bring you daily dashes of history, thought, poetry, and imagery culled out from the White Hall of Fame.

This blog will be the first of what I, Edward Waverley, hope will be many efforts to reach out to other dwindling but stubborn corners of civilization. In my first installment, I will explore the secret history of the White Hall of Fame. The WHOF is a proud, and until recently a thriving institution. But the trustees and I have recently been driven underground, and (we must confess) nearly out of existence. In our refurbished digs, we have sought the wisdom of many of our ancestors, and in these humble pages I have been given the assignment of cobbling as much of that wisdom together as possible for White posterity.

No comments:

Post a Comment